Tuesday, February 22, 2011

5 minutes of me watching planet's funniest animals.

AW FUCK
GONNA WATCH THE PLANET'S FUNNIEST ANIMALS
SEASON 9
EPISODE 1
HAHAHAHAHAH
THAT CAT ISIN A HAMMOCK
AND THAT DOG IS ROCKING IT BACK AND FORTH
OH FUCK
THE HAMMOCK FELL
FUCKING ANIMALS HAHAHHAHAHAH
HAHA OH WOW
THAT BEAR IS SNEEZING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER.
A FISH IN A GIANT FISH? ITS LIKE THE FISH ATE THAT CAT.
PFFFT. HAHAH CATFISH.
HAHHAHAH OH WOW
A RABBIT
IN A BIRD CAGE
RABBITS DONT BELONG IN THERE
YOU SILLY RABBIT.
cute duckies!
OH FUCK, THAT KID IS BEING CHASED BY A DUCK. SOMEONE DO SOMETHING.
TURTLES ARE FUCKING AWESOME. LOL. THAT TURTLE IS IN A RUSH, BUT THAT'S SILLY, IT'S A TURTLE. TURTLES RARELY HAVE ANYHWERE GOOD TO GO.

P.S absinthe is some hard shit.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

HAHA HA ha haha...ha

My bad. Forgot to post yesterday. Alcohol was involved, get off of me.

'That's what she said!'

...Oh fuck off.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Dislike Button




Where is it? I think Mark's really slacking here not putting it in. We have the like button which is all great and anything, but if you use the internet often you know that the internet doesn't thrive off liking other people's stuff and agreeing with them. It needs hate and arguing and trolling and lots of it.

And we could have it on the book easily. It's like one copy paste job and and changing a plus sign to a minus. Think of the possibilities.

You know that guy/girl who constantly feels the need to update their Facebook status with the dumbest shit ever? "Just poured a glass of milk!" "Douchebag McGee is watching TV for the next 2 hours." Yeah, fuck them. With the dislike button, it'd be a 1 second task to show that idiot how stupid his post is. Maybe he brushes off 1 dislike as just some angry guy, but after 6 or 7 or more dislikes on his post he gets the point that no one gives a shit that he just let his dog out to take a piss for the third time that day. And there's no greater feeling than seeing an idiot slowly come to terms with the fact that he's a failure at life.

And we could go even further with it too. A lot of forums (ipb 3+ for instance) have a rep system where you can "+1" (like) or "-1" (dislike) a post. And the total rep you've received for your posts is stored and is viewable by everyone.

Think about introducing that shit to Facebook. It encourages people to make status posts, thereby increasing activity and it'd be insanely fun. If you're an idiot with a poorly informed opinion on things? You either are scared out of posting (for fear of negative rep) which is great because then we don't have to read that shit or you go ahead and post and we constantly negative rep you. If you make a smart observation or funny post or something like that, you get rewarded for it as people +1 you.

And then you have a leaderboard showing the largest negative rep (best trolls or most hated people) and the best rep. That'd be sick. People who make shitty posts get made to look like idiots with the negative rep, and others are rewarded for smart posts.



Plus, imagine how much stupid drama would go on on facebook between "friends." It'd be awesome. Nonstop arguments and people getting pissed off about their rep. What's better than that?

Do it Zuckerberg.


~Ben~

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

DUCK. AMERICA LOVES DUCKS.

So… America likes ducks, right?

Donald Duck, Daffy Duck, Plucky Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Howard the Duck, and… Duckman.

Ok, so you probably haven’t heard of this show. For A LOT of reasons.

A. It aired when the Simpsons was still at it’s height in popularity

B. It was something of a show that attempted to tackle some of the more controversial and deeper parts of humanity.

C. It originally aired on USA. No, not the country, the network.

D . It was NEVER syndicated, for A-C, only comedy central aired episodes, and only very briefly.

With those reasons in mind, what is Duckman? Well, it’s essentially a show about a duck who goes around solving mysteries, with a family man spin put on it. Also, he’s a incredibly large dick, often insulting anyone and everyone around him, putting others in danger, objectifying women, and, when he’s angry enough (or just wants to honestly) killing his secretaries, Fluffy and Uranus.

D’aww, aren’t they adorable?

They’re… cute. Disgustingly cute in fact. They’re supposed to represent the PC culture that we were entering as a society in the 90s, where everything had to be good and nice, never offending anyone, and are generally extremely annoying about it. And while they make at least one or two appearances an episode, and rarely get more then like, 2 or 3 minutes of screen time, their characters are made worth it by some fun activities they often partake in.

Like becoming sidewalk pizza!

This is easily one of the tamest ways these characters are offed, and apparently, due to being made of cotton, they’re incredibly resilient.

As far as to come back from this.

These are both from the 1st episode. I won’t spoil much more, but I really enjoy this show, and you might want to check out this show. The art is extremely interesting, and it generally parodies humanity. Though the fluffy and Uranus deaths are easily my favorite.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Friday, February 11, 2011

JS Harlow Post: SnG, Ch. 1

Whoops! Day late. I might or might not have been playing the incredibly awesome Final Fantasy 6 and lost track of time. You'll never know. Could have been ninjas, too.

So now onto the next segment of Silver and Gold! Hope you like it. ^.^


Chapter 1, Pt. 1 & 2: Vines; Coffins
JS Harlow

            The thorn vines were taller this year.
Three years ago they had only reached the top decorative iron curl in the trellised cemetery gate. Five years ago they had only reached halfway. Ten years ago they had barely sprung back out from frozen northern dirt. Twelve years ago, well… Reah's hands clenched, rubbing fingers on faded scars. The white blossoms on her back whispered, remembering her of fire. A man’s loud drunken voice echoed in her head.
It had been twelve years since Reah had seen her mother’s face. It had been too long for her to remember it. She had tried every day to call it into mind but some time before the start of her first memories, she had lost the image. All that was left of the barmaid Lili, now, was a small stone marker, a pile of dirt, and Reah's final faded memory: of violet eyes.
            Reah shifted on her bare brown feet, easing the muscles in her legs. She had been leaning against the low blonde wood fence surrounding her home: a convocation of brick and glass which the nation of Gehenna knew as the Orphanage of the Sisters of the Frozen Blood. She had been staring east past the blond wood fence. From the top of the west hill where the orphanage sat and devoured Fulkton Gardens' sunsets every evening she could pick out the exact location of her mother's grave. It was early in the morning still and a rare clear day. Reah had been gazing over the village for a good twenty minutes, now, planning. She knew that Elvene's sycophants were under the tree by the entrance to the Orphan's Quarters behind her. Were they waiting for her to make her way inside?
           She didn't want to think about them. She should be thinking about her mother, instead, today. All that Reah could remember of the woman buried beneath the orchard hill was the image of her violet eyes.
When those eyes were clearest in her mind they were always opened wide. Reah could only think that they must be staring outwards at the world as their owner died. That man’s voice echoed in her mind again and, snarling, Reah turned her back on the hill and the cemetery that lay on and surrounded it. Her mother's eyes had been looking out at the Lord of Fulkton Gardens. Reah was certain of it. She had no memories, but she still had dreams.
           No one would listen. No one would ever listen and the lord of Fulkton gardens was walking free from murder.
           "Your mommy set the inn on fire. Daddy won't say it but you should just die."
           No one had listened to Reah's words. They had refused to listen and all memories of the girl's mother had failed. The Hoary Stag had been built, new, at Lord Fulke's expense. The woman's last name had been forgotten with her death and her daughter could no longer claim it. Now, even Reah had forgotten everything but her mother's eyes, and the words she had repeated to every passerby again and again since her early childhood.
           Lord Fulke clothed her. He housed her, as if she were just another nameless orphan. He pardoned her for speaking out against him.
           There was pain in her palms. Reah looked down at them. Oh. She had drawn blood with her nails. But she had trimmed them yesterday.
           Why do I still let myself do this?
           Reah's mother had been soft. That was the best thought that Reah could manage. Her mother had been a soft woman. And now she was dead. And Reah was alone.
She was the girl with the ugly brown skin: the freak and the orphan: the child with no last name. She left no room in herself for softness. Not for anyone but the dead. She was the type to move forward, and lords' mercy on those who got in her way.
Reah started. She was standing and doing nothing. She had to stop; she had to do something. She hated attention.
Two stories of laid bricks loomed above her as she started walking. There were no windows and just a single door on the side of the orphanage facing Fulkton Gardens and its cemetery. Many of the Sisters of the Order of the Frozen Blood disliked both the living and the dead.
I have to go pick Mother's flowers, now, Reah thought.
           Her mother was dead. She had loved black fall lilies, though. Reah could bring the lilies to her mother today, after Sunday church, if she could get to the woods to pick them before church was called to session. The flowers had just started blooming. They would be at their prettiest, today.
           All Reah had to do was make it to her room: past the six tall, pale orphan children with the too disinterested looking green and blue eyes gathered together under the tree by the door she was approaching.
It was still cold in Fulkton Gardens this early in the spring. Fulkton Gardens was one of the northernmost townships in Northern Gehenna. It was nearest of all to the barbarian wastes. Warmth was loathe to visit here, this far above Gehenna's Cold Line. As Reah passed into the shadow beyond the white stone archway of the convent's entrance door she felt pride in the fact that, despite the footsteps on the grass behind her, she did not shiver.

***
           "Have you heard this one, yet? I heard they cut her legs off to make her fit in her coffin."
           Damn you.
           "Oh? That's nice. So what do we do with her?"
           They had Reah in a corner. She'd let them do it. King take her, she didn't have time for this. She spoke out.
           "Why are you doing this, Jocelin?"
           "Hey! It wasn't her who spoke. You should have some manners and answer me, girl."
           "Shut up, Lawrance."
           There. She had Jocelin talking.
           They had her trapped in a corner of the hallway breaking off in the direction of the quarters she shared with the girls among them. The group of them were trying to look as if Reah was with them. The Sisters had a habit of appearing without making noise on the halls' slate tiles.
           Blythe was the youngest: thirteen. She had brown hair cut short and green eyes. She was born local, but she'd been in the orphanage since she was five. Her brown haired, green eyed father had murdered her mother and three younger sisters. It was said he'd wanted sons. He'd become a High Blood vampire's dinner and Blythe had gone to the orphanage. The girl wasn't usually a part of this group. She hadn't been with them last week. She was watching the hallway, now, perhaps concerned. A potential weakness?
           Owen was probably fourteen. He was blonde. His blue eyes had a pale aspect to them. He had been found in a rubbish ditch outside a town in Southern Gehenna while still a toddler, pawing along the ground like a beast, searching for food scraps. He was poor-sighted and always squinting. Reah thought he was probably an imbecile. He had been chasing after Jocelin for years, now. He was as far away from the girl as he could be, as always, standing in the shadow of the wall to which Reah had pressed her back. Blythe was next to him. The two of them were a weak point in the circle surrounding her, but Reah didn't want to gamble on them.
          Sarah and Locke. They were next to eachother again, whispering. Sarah was fourteen. She was taller than any of the other girls, blonde and blue eyed. She had been found outside the orphanage as an infant. From what Reah knew of her she was uninteresting, but wholly Jocelin's creature. There'd be no opening there.
          Locke was the oldest of the group: almost sixteen. She should have been out of the orphanage by now. Reah didn't know why she had decided to stay instead of moving on. It didn't matter, anyways. Dark brown hair, much like Reah's own, and pale blue eyes. Short, though still taller than Reah. Another obstacle.
There was Lawrance. He was a wall. Huge. Blonde hair and green eyes. He wasn't much for talking but that didn't make him any better than the rest. He was a local boy, not an orphan. A farmer's son. Almost a man. If he wasn't here escape might have been an option for Reah. There was a reason he was here.
Jocelin.
          "What is it?" Jocelin said. She wasn't very good at sounding sweet. "Don't you like our company, Reah?"
          Jocelin had been at the Orphanage of the Sisters of the Frozen Blood for twelve years. She was nearing the orphanage's age of maturity, now. Reah didn't know her family history. It was well known in the halls that the sisters had decided to keep Jocelin's past to themselves.
           "You know Elvene doesn't like you, Jocelin," Reah said.
           That should get her angry.
           Retreat was not an option. Reah would have to adopt a different tactic.
           Jocelin took a step toward her, breaking the circle Reah was trapped in. Lawrance was the one she needed to worry about now. The boy was standing just behind Jocelin, within reach of the hole the girl's movement had made in their circle. No space for Reah to run. Worse, he was in arm's reach of Jocelin.
           Just four more steps.
           Right now, anyway.
           "You mongrel little bitch," Jocelin said. Her voice was vitriol: good. "Why would I care about that?"
           Reah took a single step forward. The space between herself and her tormentor was closing. If she could get her claws into the blue eyed girl she could get some retribution, and the group around her would be bound to make noise. A Sister would come. But first Jocelin had to take one step farther from the boy Lawrance.
          "Because," Reah said. She took a step forward. Come on... "Everyone knows. You've been trying for a chance in Elvene's dresses since the day you met her."
           "Take that back."
           Jocelin was the palest girl Reah had ever known. She was red now, though. Good. She had a wide thin lipped smile like a hatchet wound to the face. It was always an empty smile. Unreadable. But those green eyes of hers were sparkling beneath the brown mop of her hair. She took a step forward.
           Just within reach. Out, rather.
           Another of the girls cut in. Locke, Reah thought. "We're not in the woods this time, Jocelin," she said. "That Corwin boy's got nothing to a sister. Back off."
           "Take it back, girl."
           Reah bared her teeth. "I won't."
           "Take it back, Reah. Jocelin's not like that." Owen's voice. He was trying to defend Jocelin again. Trying to calm her down. What an idiot. Reah didn't take her eyes off of her target.
           Jocelin turned a dozen shades darker red. She was always convinced that her friends were stupid and that they wouldn't catch on to things. She hated being wrong. She spun around.
           "Shut up, Owen!"
           Reah took her last step forward.
           Good.
          "I'll fit you in a coffin," she said.
           She glanced up. Lawrance was staring directly into her with his idiot towhead green eyes. He wasn't a ward of the orphanage. He was a farmer's son who shouldn't be here. Why was he going through the trouble? Reah cleared her mind. She wouldn't have long once the boy started moving.
           Jocelin started to turn back. Reah didn't bother to wait for a look at her target's face. She lunged forward, crying out, and her hands were around the girl's neck. She felt her nails dig into flesh. So odd. She had cut them yesterday. It didn't matter. She dug harder. She saw the farmer's son moving out of the top edge of her eyes.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Jury system.

Y’know…. The American jury system has always been a rather interesting beast.

If it weren’t for this system, it would be incredibly difficult to decide who is deserving of punishment, and who is innocent of their crimes.

In the best case situation.

The jury system is honestly a flawed system, for many reasons. First off, it was made by humans. People fucking suck.

But past that, there’s the fact that, the jury system takes from a extremely large group, and whittles it down to a select group.

The parameters for this group are:

A. The jurors can’t make an excuses to get out of it

B. The jurors aren’t biased (or at least hide it well)

C. Can actually show up.

So… yeah. You know that stereotype where only the stupidest people in a jury group ever get chosen, as they fulfill all 3 of the above three parameters? Yeah. It’s mildly valid. Most people can find a way out by making an excuse, or can at least seem kind of polarizing if they REALLY don’t wish to serve.

Let’s be honest here. Trial by Jury can be a really scary term, but… having one person choose your fate is also pretty awful, and the worst would easily be phoenix wright.

Guilty till proven innocent? Awesome. I’d rather have trial by jury then have that kind of system in place. Play any phoenix wright game, you’ll see what I mean. If that was the alternative? It'd be cool, but Christ, i'd be scared to be accused of a crime.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Cooking Time!

So. I’ve been learning to cook food, particularly Colombian cuisine. I’ve already learned how to make a few things, like lentil soup, empanadas, buneolos (basically a salty doughnut, using cheese, flower, and eggs), some heavier soups. Today, I’ll be going through a recipe I actually did earlier today, called sudado de albondigas, which roughly translates to meatball stew. Before I go into the recipe, maybe it would be wise to discuss the term sudado.

Obviously, sudado, or stew, is essentially a meat (chicken, meatballs, lean beef cuts, lamb, you can likely also use tofu or fish if you’re inclined to do so) placed in a gravy, composed of many ingredients, which often goes great on top of white rice. This meal is extremely cost effective, extremely filling, and can easily make a bland meal really delicious. The ingredients honestly don’t need to be exact, as you can vary the amount of meat and potatoes as much as you want, as long as you keep the base (the onions, tomatoes, seasonings) it should taste quite good.

Let’s begin, shall we?

2-3 large potatoes. Type doesn’t matter much, but if you like more potatoes, you can add more

4 or 5 half cassava/yuca. I personally don't like yuca too much, but my parents absolutely adore the stuff.

2 medium sized tomatoes. You can honestly go as big as you want on the tomatoes, as tomatoes are mostly water, you’ll just add less water at a later step however, be sure not to add too little tomato, as it’ll make the meal taste significantly worse.

2 medium sized red onions: Same thing as the tomatoes, you can add more if you really like onions, otherwise, 2 onions should be plenty

Some olive or corn oil, not much, about a table spoon full is plenty.

1 lb of ground beef

2 eggs .

¾ cup of bread crumbs.

A adobo type of seasoning, approximately 2-3 tablespoons. Adobo seasonings are basically just turmeric, salt, pepper, and garlic, and oregano. Goya sells a rather good adobo seasoning for approximately 2 dollars, so I usually go for that.

A large pot

Now, you’ll want to begin by dicing the onion and tomato into small pieces. You place the oil into the large pot, and allow it to heat up. After the oil is sufficiently hot, add the tomatoes and onions. Add the adobo seasoning on top, and mix well. While the tomatoes and onions cook, peel the potatoes and slice them into half inch slices. Now, when the tomato onion mixture looks well mixed, it should look like a red mass with the occasional hints of water. Add about a cup of water, and add the potatoes. Put the lid on top, and let it come to a boil.

Take your ground beef into a bowl, and add the 2 eggs and the bread crumbs. Mix well, until there are no traces of bread crumbs or egg left, and form several 2-3 inch in diameter meat balls. Place the meatballs into the stew. Now, I know it looks extremely cramped in the pot, but it’s fine, just moved some of the potatoes aside and add the meatballs in, you want each meatball at least half submerged in the stew. If you want to add yuca, feel free to do so now, as even when frozen, the vegetable takes very little time to cook. Now, when all the meatballs are in, stir VERY lightly, as if you stir too hard the meatballs will break up. Just stir until the mixture seems even. Now you simply put a lid on the pot, and allow it to boil for about 20 minutes.

After 20 minutes, it’ll be done. The meatballs can obviously be eaten however you want, and the gravy from the stew makes a great addition to any simple rice dish.

That’s how you make sudado de albondigas!

The measurement on the meat isn’t exact, so it allows a lot of flexibility. This especially works well for lean cuts of meat with very little marbling, as the stew itself keeps the meat nice and moist.

That’s all for this blog post, thanks for reading, and, as for next time? Something different.