Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Hollywood fucking sucks. pt 2

So... last time I spoke about the adaptation of cartoons.

Well, that was quite a while ago, so I guess let's get started at what I promised last time: Scooby Doo.

Well... to be quite honestly, scooby doo hasnt been that bad lately. Scooby has actually been quite nice, with that new cartoon series recently having come out, it's actually tried some new things. so i'll give them a pass for now.

...

At least till they fuck up

...

Which, with the direction hannah barbera is going... will likely be soon. OR right now.

YOGI FUCKING BEAR.

So who walked into a producer's office, said: 'ok, we need more money. What old IP can we use for a new movie for all the little kids?'

'Eh.. I dunno... The jetsons?'

'Nah, let's save that for a few years down the line'

'Oh! I know, how about yogi bear. Yeah.. let’s do a CGI yogi bear. The kids will eat it up, I mean, it’s yogi!’

‘Yeah. That sounds good, and the adults will come for the nostalgia’

‘….’

‘Alright, sorry. Stupid idea.’

‘it’s fine, but yknow who would be perfect for the part of ranger smith? That guy from scrubs.’

‘you mean zach braff?’

‘No! not zach braff… the guy who played his brother in the series’

‘You mean Tom cavanagh?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I gotta admit…. HE’S PERFECT!’

Perfect.

Okay, okay, maybe that isn’t such a realistic situation, and yknow, ranger smith is a rather important role, and maybe tom cavanagh will do something good with it. He’s not a bad actor, it’s just that out of all the actors… I’m not really sure I would have cast him for the role. But okay, it’s fine, maybe the CGI will be top notch, and it’ll be like they are really in the woods or something.

…Ok… scratch that. Not the ugliest CGI I guess… but look at those eyes.

God… boo boo’s eyes just look absolutely soulless.

Okay, yknow what? I can totally ignore the fact that boo boo looks like he just witnessed a murder, and he’s trying to hide it in his little bear soul. Well… maybe the voice actors will be good. You can usually completely ignore a lot of faults in a production if the actors can completely sell it. Afterall, a really good actor can always bring a production up and help it succeed. Yeah! Maybe the actors for this movie will be really awesome and

…. Yeah… I’m done.

2 comments:

Ballister said...

I just really couldn't stop smiling with how happy I was with the post. XD, fucking brilliant!

aslum said...

Alternate Ending to Yogi Bear

Now without html failure.